One Day
by hellonwheels04
Summary: There is one day they can never forget. Jack and Irina need each other to make it through. What happened to them before Sydney was born?


**One Day**

Irina stepped out onto the balcony of her hotel room and looked down over the city. A cold breeze blew through and she pulled the shawl around her shoulders closer, shivering as she stared out into the night. Another gust of wind tore through and Irina closed her eyes, allowing it to make her feel alive. The cold air felt exhilarating and heightened all of her senses.

She was desperate for a distraction from her thoughts. They tormented her and Irina wished that she could toss them into the wind.

Today was a day she couldn't shake. It had haunted her for more than thirty years and time had done little to dull the pain. Another simple anecdote that was a straight lie. Something people said to give their loved ones some kind of false hope for the future. Irina felt a tear slide down her cheek and took a deep breath, wondering if that's what they had told Jack when she 'died'.

She missed him, especially on this day. Irina wanted nothing more than to have him hold her, tell her it was okay, but it was too risky to contact him. Even more than that, it was completely out of the question to see or meet with him. A familiar longing took hold and Irina pulled the phone out of her pocket. She flipped it open and stared at the screen, wondering how risky it really would be to contact him. Would it be worth it? All she could think of was hearing his voice. Hearing that low tone that had never failed to do so many things. A few words could arouse, infuriate, and soothe her.

Irina punched in the familiar number but her finger hovered above the button that would connect them. _What the hell are you doing? _It was worth the risk, she had an escape route planned if needed, but how would he react? Irina couldn't deal with his hate even though she knew she deserved every ounce of it. Not tonight. But what if he needed her, too? What if he felt exactly like she did tonight? _To hell with it. _

She hit the final button and bit her lip nervously as it rang, praying he would answer. Irina smiled when she heard the soft, deep voice and let it soothe her.

"Hello, Jack."

Jack sat quietly in the family room and glanced around the room. It was clear that he needed to do some cleaning. He had been away on a mission for the last week and a few things were strewn haphazardly around the room, not something he was accustomed to, but there were more important things on his mind.

He absently reached for the glass of whiskey sitting on the end table and gently sipped it. The alcohol helped to bring a small amount of comfort but it wasn't what he needed. Jack needed the only thing that could take the pain away but she wasn't with him. Although he constantly struggled, Jack could normally compartmentalize his feelings about her and push them to the side but today was one of the few exceptions. There was one secret they had managed to keep together. That secret was one of the things that bound them together, even if Jack didn't want to admit it.

It was pure torture to admit that he needed her. After everything she had put him through, the never ending cycle of pain he lived with, for some sick and twisted reason he needed her. _Irina. Not Laura. _Jack needed her like he needed a fix. They had minimal contact, both not wanting to put the other's life in jeopardy unless absolutely necessary, but his heart was breaking. No one knew how much pain this day brought. No one but her.

Jack got up and walked into the bedroom, heading immediately to the closet. He pushed aside the array of custom tailored suits, revealing a well hidden safe, and quickly opened it. There were documents, passports, and cash neatly stacked throughout the safe in case of an emergency but that wasn't what he was looking for. Soon, Jack found the phone that he sought and opened it.

This particular phone had only one purpose. It was clean and untraceable, providing the means to occasionally communicate with her. They had established this on the grounds that they only contact each other concerning Sydney or to help the other if absolutely needed.

Jack sighed and moved to the bed, collapsing heavily, and loosened the tie around his neck. He stared at the phone, unsure of his next move, weighing consequences and decisions. There was a very good possibility that she would be angry. Not only because he had contacted her but because she would be trying to fight the day's demons as well. _Maybe it's just best to leave her alone, _he thought miserably.

Sucking in a deep breath, Jack shook his head and ran a heavy hand through his hair. _What the hell are you doing, Bristow? She doesn't- _His thoughts were interrupted as the phone began to ring and he couldn't help from smiling. She needed him, too.

"Hello?"

"How are you?" Irina asked pensively. The question seemed small and unimpressive but she asked simply out of courtesy.

Jack leaned forward on the bed, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Probably about as good as you are." This was insane. He was having an intimate conversation with one of the world's most wanted terrorists. Even worse, all he could think of for a moment was feeling her in his arms again. "Are you okay?"

Another small tear slipped down her face and Irina angrily brushed it away. "I'm sorry to call but no. I'm not," she answered softly.

Her voice sounded hollow and full of sadness, making Jack wish that he could fix it. "Me either," he admitted. "He's all I could think about today."

"What do you think he would have been like, Jack?"

He couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. "Hopefully, nothing close to us." It was a sad truth but both their lives were a complete circus. They were on opposite sides of a war, covertly keeping contact only when they needed it most. Hell, they were both basically con-artists. If they felt someone could prove useful to their own endgame it was only a matter of time before they used them. "Unless he would have had my good looks, of course. No woman can resist that Bristow charm," Jack teased lightly, escaping from his own damaging thoughts.

She smiled at his ability to make the darkness retreat, even if it was just momentarily, but guilt was tearing through her body. "I'm sorry. Maybe if I had been more careful-"

"You did nothing wrong," Jack quickly cut in. "There was nothing you could have done. Nothing either of us could have done, Irina." He took a deep breath and shakily let it out. For once, his feelings were getting the better of him. Compartmentalization wasn't an option this evening. "Sweetheart, these things just happen sometimes."

The tears began to flow freely when he used her pet name and a small sob escaped. Irina knew he was right but her heart still ached. The loss they both felt was unspoken but could be felt through the static on the phone as she continued to cry. "I need you right now," she blurted. "I don't want to go through this alone again."

Jack's lower lip quivered as he felt unfamiliar tears threatening to surface. "I know, sweetheart. I know."

_A very pregnant Laura tossed and turned. She was nearing the end of her pregnancy and nothing was comfortable. All she could ever think about was food and a good night's rest, the latter part constantly evading her, but at least there was food. Ice cream seemed like a nice treat she hadn't had in a while._

_ "This better be very good ice cream," she mumbled grumpily, struggling to sit up. It was annoying how every little movement seemed to take her much longer._

_ Jack felt the bed shift again and rolled over. "Laura, where are you going?" he asked sleepily. _

_ "Go back to sleep, honey. I'm just going to the kitchen to get a snack." She felt badly about waking him. Jack had recently returned from a mission that was exhausting and he needed to sleep._

_ He wearily sat up and started to get out of bed. "What do you want? I'll get it for you. You should be trying to rest."_

_ "No, you go back to sleep. It's alright. I'm not tired." It was a lie but he needed the rest and it was clear the baby wasn't in the mood to sleep so either would she._

_ "Okay." Jack leaned over and kissed her softly, then moved to her stomach. His hand gently moved across the stretched skin. "How's our boy doing?" He placed another tender kiss right above her bellybutton, smiling against the little movements he could feel._

_ "Kicking constantly and pushing on my bladder," she answered in annoyance. However, the irritation was quickly overcome as Jack's face lit up again and she knew he could feel the baby kicking in response to his voice. He was going to make a fantastic father._

_ Jack kissed her belly and began to speak softly. "I can't wait to meet you. We're going to play baseball together and I'm going to teach you how to get a beautiful woman to fall for you. She'll never see it coming." He looked up and winked at his wife. "But that won't happen for at least another twenty-five years or so."_

_ Laura laughed throatily and the pressure quickly made her remember that she needed to use the bathroom. "Jack, help me up please." She watched as he walked around the bed and pulled her to her feet. "Thank you. I'm getting too fat to do this on my own."_

_ "One, you're not fat. You're absolutely beautiful." Jack gave her a kiss and cupped the side of her face, rubbing his thumb over her smooth cheekbone. "And two, make sure you eat something extra for Larry."_

_ She shot a look over her shoulder as she continued to waddle out of the room. "I told you we're not naming him that!" Laura giggled as she heard him laugh and approached the stairs. They were getting harder to deal with on a daily basis because she couldn't see her feet anymore._

_ Mastering the first two steps, she was beginning to feel accomplished but Laura suddenly lost her balance. She grabbed blindly for the railing but missed and started to tumble down the hardwood stairs. Instinctively, she protected her stomach as she fell. _The baby, _was the last thing to go through her mind before hitting the floor and losing consciousness._

Jack finally let the tears fall. He had rushed from bed that night and found her lying at the bottom of the stairs, unconscious, with blood pouring steadily down her thighs. In truth, he couldn't remember much more than that. There were only bits and pieces. Trying to wake her up, calling 911, and then all but collapsing when the doctor told him.

The thing that was most clear about that night was waiting for her to wake up from surgery. He had no idea how to tell her but in the end, there was no need to. She only needed to look at him. The truth had been etched on his face that night like a statue being formed. They had lost the baby.

"Jack?"

Her voice brought him back to the present and he tried to clear the lump from his throat. "I'm still here."

"What are you thinking?" Irina asked hesitantly.

"That I should've gotten the damn ice cream." A weak smiled formed as he tried to find strength he no longer possessed.

Irina laughed a little and shivered as the wind picked up. "I've since given up strawberry," she teased. Kicking at a small pebble on the ground, Irina debated her next action. "Jack, I know there are a lot of issues between us."

He snorted and sipped some more whiskey. "That's quite an understatement, Irina."

She ignored the teasing sarcasm. "But I don't want to be alone tonight. I can't… keep doing this. Everyone breaks at some point, Jack." Her head dipped, almost ashamed of the weakness she felt for this man. "Please," Irina whispered.

Jack smiled with satisfaction. He had already made sure there was no surveillance around the apartment in the off chance she contacted him. In fact, no one even knew he was back from assignment. Jack wasn't due back for another two days but he'd finished up early and the intel he'd obtained could wait. "How far away are you?"

Irina shook her head and smiled broadly. It never ceased to amaze her how easily Jack could read her, especially when she was most vulnerable. "Five blocks or so." It was good to know that even in a world as crazy as theirs, some things never changed.

"Then what are you waiting for?" he asked with a smirk. They were stubborn, headstrong, and constantly fighting but they needed this. They needed each other, even if it was just for a moment. They needed to fall apart. "The door's unlocked."

She walked back inside and grabbed her purse. "I'll be there shortly."

"Irina?" Jack waited to make sure she heard him. "Why don't you get some strawberry ice cream? We can share it."


End file.
